


turnabout

by holdenscoffee (spacebarista)



Category: The Expanse (TV)
Genre: F/M, Possible Goodbyes, Prompt Fic, Tumblr Prompt, heroics, situation swap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-31
Updated: 2017-12-31
Packaged: 2019-02-25 21:26:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13221576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spacebarista/pseuds/holdenscoffee
Summary: "Just... come back alive, okay?"Holden learns just how Naomi feels.





	turnabout

**Author's Note:**

> Got the five word prompt "Just... come back alive, okay?" on tumblr. Tried to come up with something short, and also wanted to do it to Hodlen rather than Naomi, who has been through it more often but has only described how it feels a few times. Turn about is fair play, right?
> 
> Thanks for reading, and please review!

“So, we good then?”

 

No. But Holden doesn’t have room to share his dissent. Amos nods in the silence, loading his shotgun with a satisfied grunt. Naomi’s eyes stay trained on her terminal, scrolling through lines of data that will somehow reveal the solution to the problem Amos is escorting her to fix. He wills her to look at him instead, to show some sign she’s suffering from the same anxiety roiling in his own stomach. She doesn’t.

 

He clears his throat. “What did you want me to do?”

 

Bobbie taps some buttons on her suit before turning her attention to him. She claps him on the shoulder, nearly pusing him over. The strength behind the touch had very little to do with knocking him off balance. “Holden, you do what you do best. Distract them.”

 

“Yeah. Sure thing.” His voice cracks.

 

Naomi’s going to be right in the thick of the fighting, hacking into the defense network under a hail of bullets. And he won’t be with her, watching her back. He shudders. Bobbie and Amos don’t notice his moment of weakness. Naomi still doesn’t look up.

 

“All right,” Bobbie nods. “Let’s move out. Amos, Naomi: with me.”

 

Holden watches, helpless as they each turn down the corridor. Away from him. Naomi doesn’t even look up. Holden opens his mouth to call her back. Horrific visions fill his head: Naomi being shot, captured, tortured. Hurt or killed. _Gone_. All because she _has_ to do something. He shakes his head. Takes a breath. Tries again.

 

“Naomi!”

 

Finally, _finally_ , she turns, brown eyes meeting his, looking like she just remembered he’s there. There’s a sharp pang in his chest. _Oh_. He takes another breath and jogs over to her, even as Bobbie and Amos show some displeasure before turning away to wait. Naomi blinks up at him. Holden gives her a weak grin. Clears his throat again.

 

“So… this is what it’s like, huh?”

 

Naomi’s brows furrow together. It takes her a moment to understand—he’s got the smartest person in the system on his crew, of _course_ she’d figure it out—but when she does she gives him a grin of her own.

 

“It is, yeah.”

 

Holden scoffs. “God, I’m an asshole.”

 

Naomi laughs. It’s not an entirely happy sound. “You are, sometimes. But I love you anyway.”

 

“Well,” Holden starts, laughing himself. “I love you, too. So…” He reaches down, taking her hand and squeezing it. “Just… come back alive, okay?”

 

Naomi’s grin falters. In that moment, Holden almost regrets saying anything. He didn’t want her to be upset. But the moment passes and Naomi’s grin finds its way back before he can say anything to bring it back. “That’s my line, isn’t it?”

 

“I… Naomi—”

 

She presses into his space, shifts onto her toes to just about meet his eyes. They shine with tears Holden is surprised he hadn’t noticed. She presses the hand clutching her terminal to his chest. Whether to touch him or just for leverage, it doesn’t matter. It calms his racing heart.

 

“You’re gonna go up there, you’re gonna distract the hell out of them so I can get this done, and then you’re gonna make sure Alex has the engines running so when I come back to you we can get the hell off this station. You hear me, Captain?” Her voice wavers at the end. It isn’t much, but it’s enough for Holden to pick up on.

 

Guilt and affection battle it out in his chest as tears itch at his own eyes. He nods, hoping it doesn’t show. Naomi’s the smartest _and_ strongest person he’s ever known. She’s toughed it out for him and still gotten the job done. He’ll tough it out for her, and get the job done. Prove he can be even _almost_ as strong as she always is.

 

“Yes, ma’am,” he whispers. “I hear you. We’ll be waiting.”

 

Naomi’s small gasp has a smaller sob hidden within it. But she nods back at him, squeezing his hand before letting go of it and stepping away again. She keeps her eyes on him, walking backwards down the corridor.

 

“See you soon, Jim.”

 

“Yeah. Good hunting.” He hopes it sounds confident.

 

Naomi flashes him one last smile before turning, disappearing around the corner with Amos and Bobbie. Holden takes a shaky breath. He pulls out his hand terminal, connecting to Alex as he pivots and marches towards the docks. Away from Naomi.

 

“Alex? I’m gonna need you to give me an open channel. The XO needs a distraction.”

 

_And so does the Captain._


End file.
